A WALK IN ZA PARK

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The ZAZA “ZAGA” continues.
Now you all know about the posh pooch treats at the door of the ZAZA, as well as the champagne and other assorted treats, for humans. But, you may be unaware that they have a POND right in the middle of the lobby. Is that cool or what? I immediately strolled over, assuming that any notable pond would have turtles. I would consider The ZAZA notable wouldn’t you? Perhaps not on the level with Walden’s Pond- (they HAVE turtles), but notable nonetheless. I guess that we all know what happens when one assumes. I WAS slightly disappointed, but when I looked into the pond I found out that all which glitters is NOT 24K gold, but there is gold and there is gold. Personally, I was very excited and terribly impressed. The ZAZA has real live, swishy, swimming GOLD fish- actually Koi- and I was mesmerized. Dad did let me put my paws on the side of the pond, but kept his hands on my shoulders. What was he afraid of??? That I might go skinny dipping??? I think not! After all I was sporting a Classic Kippers!
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Then I sauntered over to a fabulous pair of French chairs, which caught my eye as I headed out of the hotel on my way to he park. Tres chic, n’est ce pas? I chortled when I caught the irony of an English Bull dog’s image on a French chair.
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The best part of the ZAZA is it’s location to parks and the Fine Art Museum. Actually, if one stays at The ZAZA, then one is in the hub of Houston’s culture. After all, what more could one want than access to fabulous art, history and a beautiful park in which to poop! (Yes, we pick up)

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Following our walk to the park and back, I found my “dogs” were “barking”! (as humans would refer to their hurting feet) As a matter of fact, I had trucked along at quite a pace and was feeling it in my shoulders too. So, upon entering the lobby, I enjoyed a libation and then had the concierge make a reservation for me to have an in room massage. BUT THAT’s a story for my next post!

ZAZA ON HOLD- for a “Florence Nightingale” moment …if you please.

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EXCUSE ME PLEASE!!

I am TEMPORARILY interrupting the ZAZA “ZAGA” to bring all of you an important message.

One of my most ardent fans has been battling an illness for several months and I just found out this morning! I won’t use her name because Mama said that would just be plain tacky! I may be a lot of things, but tacky is not, I repeat NOT one of them! I pride myself on being a a Southern gentleman with impeccable manners. (There was that one little slip up when I goosed the lady in the back of the leg at THE ZAZA, but the elevator WAS crowded and it really WASN’T my fault.)

Of course, upon hearing the news about my friend’s illness, I went into immediate overdrive and raced to the store to buy the necessary ingredients to make sugar cookies. Classic Kippers‘ sugar cookies! My Auntie Susan loaned me her bow tie cookie cutter- yep, she absolutely has THE coolest kitchen gadgets this side of The Rockies!
Of course I knew that a dog bowl filled with Classic Kippers‘ bow tie cookies and a “bone fido” Classic Kippers‘ cup filled with flowers would be just the ticket for a speedy recovery!

I was absolutely, categorically, positively, lip smackin’ sure that Classic Kippers‘ sugar cookies would, at the very least, make her medicine go down better. I realize that Mary Poppins thought that a spoonful of sugar helped the medicine go down, but I’m here to tell you that she was perfectly mistaken. She probably meant sugar cookies, but perhaps it just didn’t fit the music.

ANYWAY, I got back to the house in record time, donned my apron, loosened my tie and set to work to put the “Iron Chefs” to shame.
Flour, sugar, butter, vanilla- I mixed, I rolled, I stamped, I cut- I created a gastronomic confectionary masterpiece!
OK, maybe they WERE just sugar cookies…
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The hard part was waiting for these delectable treats to come out of the oven. Mom had to help get them out because I am “opposable thumbs challenged”, but I did a superb job of guarding my cookies until they cooled.

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Once the Classic Kippers’ bow tie cookies were individually wrapped-I run a professional kitchen-

I put them in a chic black bowl, added the flowers, and had APC Delivery rush them to the nice lady’s house.

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I’m sure that she already feels better.

 

NOW, BACK TO WRITING MY “ZAZA ZAGA”!

ZIPPITY ZAZA

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You would be perfectly correct if you think that urban/hotel living suits me. It positively does! The miles of sidewalk, parks and fountains just call my name. Let’s face it, I could also get used to having complimentary treats available at all times.
And concierge service-
Upon arrival, glasses of champagne are given to the guests and there is a sideboard filled with delicious smelling edibles for their snacking pleasure. If I had a complaint, it would be that their human treats tend to lean more toward the gourmet than those for the visiting canine. However, just seeing a bowl of doggie bone delights sitting on the marble floor by the hotel entrance is, well, like the end of prohibition!
Boy did Mom have a tough time keeping me from snarffing up crumbs dropped by the humans. My proboscis was on major overload! SHEEESH, I was just trying to keep the place looking spiffy. At one point, I even noticed that “poodle girl” was looking down her nose at me from across the room. Her loss! I prefer to take life by the horns (very apropos in Texas) and enjoy every minute AND morsel! After all, as a rescue, and one who is living on “miracle time”, I’ve become a carpe diem kind of guy!
After a brief respite to enjoy the lobby ambience and libations, we were escorted to our room. I immediately checked out the balcony from where I had a great view of the Museum of Fine Art.image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, I ask for a “bum boost” so that I could check out the beds. There are definitely five paws up in my book! imageimage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After our belongings were unpacked and the suitcases put away, we headed several blocks down the street to the park. Stay tuned. More fun and giggles to come!!!!

ZAZA ZA ZOOM!

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ZAZA ZA ZOOM!

Last Friday was rather traumatic at my house. At least for me.
First, the suitcases came out and I was overcome with an ominous feeling, I couldn’t put my paw on it, but it just didn’t feel right. I should know by now that Mom and Dad cannot/would not leave me. Then I saw my travel crate being loaded and I barked “ROAD TRIP AROOOOOOOO-WOOF, WOOF!”- things were definitely looking up! I am required to be crated on long trips and it’s fine with me. (Something about safety.)  My crate was perfectly packed with a comfy cushion, my “Dream” blanket from Miss Leila Elizabeth, and of course “Turtle” and “Aqua dog” (my lovies).

What’s not to like?

I wanted to take “piggy” too, but was told that he was odoriferous. I, on the other hand, was given an oatmeal bath on Thursday. imageMy teeth were brushed, ears cleaned and I got a pawsicure! I should have “had a V-8″ moment (picture paw hitting head) or at the very least, figured that something was up. It WAS a Thursday after all and I usually get bathed on weekends.

Next, an ice chest was loaded with all of my dietary requirements, as well as my “dress” leash, bowls, water and a limited assortment of Classic Kippers bow ties. That left the back seat for Mom and Dad’s necessities. I was then given a “bum boost” into my crate
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and the next thing I knew some man, whom I have never seen before, said “Welcome to the ZAZA!”.

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ZAZA ZA ZOOOOOOOOM- We’ve never stayed at a hotel where a bowl of water and a bowl of dog biscuits were kept just outside the entrance. I was a tad miffed however, as I was not allowed to drink any of the water nor have a biscuit (SHEESH-I get nothing until there is a nutrition check but, to Mom’s credit, she does keep “the good kind” of treats in the car for just such occasions.
I LOVE the revolving doors here and seeing me go round and round and round makes some of the other guests giggle with unabashed delight.
Things just got better from that moment on! There was a gorgeous, though somewhat of an ingénue, standard poodle checking in at the same time. However, her mom insisted on having the doorman open the regular door for her. (Absolutely no fun!) Then there was the lovely lady in the Jimmy Choo shoes who squatted down to give me a kiss.image

 

Even the photos are awesome. EVERY TIME, and I do mean EVERY TIME I wait for the elevator, I just stare at the photo of the lady in the white dress- THAT makes my dad laugh!

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Yep, there’s no doubt about it- THE ZAZA IS A TARGET RICH ENVIRONMENT!

To the tune of MACK THE KNIFE…. Apologies to Bobby Darin

It’s definitely true. We bullies, especially white bullies, look very sharkey at times.
We are also musically inclined. Yesterday, the weather was so hot outside that I decided to do a bit of composing and tonight I sang and tickled the ivories to this little ditty for the enjoyment of family and friends. Let’s face it- you can make this bully get a job, but you cannot make this bully stop dreaming of turtling!

 

 

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Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white.

Yep, that land shark’s, gone and done it,
He’s caught more turtles left and right.

In the bushes, this summer weekend,
His numbers have climbed and soared.

He’s a shark dear, can’t you count ‘em,
He’s got turtles, turtles galore.

And if you think, babe, he’s got his limit,
Then you’d be awfully wrong.

 

For this land shark’s caught over thirty,
And he’s still going, still going strong.

But it’s not over until it’s over,
Cause he’s working on thirty three.

The turtles run dear, until October,
To this sharkey’s great delight.

In the green brush, found just on Fairfield,
It’s Mr Kippers, not Mack the Knife!

A SUMMER JOB!

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I have a job.
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It had to happen. I’ve been lying around on the sofa all summer and watching television. My parents said that I needed to do something constructive besides disturbing the tranquility of the Eastern Box Turtle and lying around proving correct, the theory that all bull terriers have a couch potato gene!
It seems that there is a salt water pool just down the street from my home- in walking distance- and they need a life guard. They didn’t KNOW that they needed one, as it is a private pool in a gated community, but I convinced the board president that it would be much safer for the residents to swim in the presence of one who has a Canine Lifeguard Certification (CLC), especially since they are all AARP eligible. I was certain that he would be impressed by my qualifications, but to make certain, I naturally had my tie manufacturer, in New York, whip up a little red and white seersucker number (since the most recognizable colors for first aid are red and white) just for the occasion! I mean first impressions ARE lasting impressions!

Actually, I spent the last few weeks getting my CLC and I now know CPR too!
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(Thank you Alexandros Benveniste)

 

So with that being said, I have collected all of the proper accoutrement and I am ready to begin my new job tomorrow.
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Remember, if any of you are looking for the perfect complement in order to nail that fabulous job interview, or to make certain that you are the best looking guy on “her” veranda this summer, race immediately over to John Pickens Clothier and they will help you select a Classic Kippers’ bow tie that is just right for you!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!

Lee Greenwood sums it up best…

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“And I’m proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up next to you
And defend her still today.
Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA!”
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As a nation-the most important holiday to us should be the Fourth of July! Sadly, amid all the cookouts, parades, and fireworks, the true significance of this holiday is often overlooked.

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Let’s face it, I love a good cookout and I am a natural when it comes to parades-
FIREWORKS NOT SO MUCH!

 

Have we forgotten why we celebrate with cookouts, parades and fireworks? Has it become just a time to vacation? All of those things are wonderful, but we need to make sure that we
remember WHY and THEN eat!

 

HAPPY FOURTH IF JULY TO ALL!

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OH THE SHAME OF IT ALL!

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Sadly, I have not been able to bask in the glory my latest turtling success. SHEESH, that’s because my Mom has been preoccupied with another project and has been hogging the iPad. Can you believe it? Something is actually usurping my being the center of attention! Excuuuuuse me???? I think not! Only my closest friends know that, since posting the capture of turtles #26 & 27 a couple of weeks ago , I have caught (and my parents have released) #’s 28, 29, 30 and 31! I feel very strongly that there should have been some sort of celebratory function to honor my remarkable accomplishments in the field of turtling, but NOOOOOOO, not even an “Atta boy”!
So, this afternoon I did something rather rash. I caught and crunched turtle # 32! Thinking back on it, I am pretty sure that it was a poor move on my part, but I really WAS caught up in the moment and she WAS so small.
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Actually, the smallest in my collection! Dad pulled her from my mouth and Mom raced her inside and called a turtle rehabber.
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Yep, she’s in a lovely private room getting excellent care…

 

…while I sit here with a dumb sign around my neck.

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IF I CAN JOIN ‘EM- I CAN LICK ‘EM! YUM!!!!

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TO CATCH THE TURTLE,
ONE MUST BECOME THE TURTLE!

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HEAR ME TURTLES,
HEAR ME ROAR!

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TO TORTOISE OR NOT TO TORTOISE?
THAT IS THE QUESTION!

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TIS BETTER TO BE THE HUNTER
THAN THE HUNTED!

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BE CALM AND TURTLE ON!

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FOR THE DISCERNING TASTE

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imageLately all sorts of brochures have arrived at the house touting cruises to every imaginable country in the world! First class accommodations, fabulous food, sun bathing, swimming, sightseeing etc. The thought has me grinning from ear to ear! One cruise in particular caught my piggy little eye. The brochure said that, “One should leave the hustle and bustle of Moscow and St Petersburg and cruise Russia south through the countryside all the way to the Caspian Sea.” Can you say ” Beluga Caviar”? I am absolutely positive if I can parlay my turtle catching expertise into catching a Beluga sturgeon. (Were y’all aware that they can live up to 118 years? That’s positively prehistoric!) Perhaps you are wondering why I have chosen a trip that goes into the Caspian Sea. Well, some bullies do not swim well. It’s not that we don’t know how, but rather that we sink – like rocks. Not all of us, but a fair number. According to my studies, the Caspian Sea is one of the saltiest bodies of water, so I figured between the water’s salinity AND my personal flotation device, I would be well prepared should I fall overboard in my pursuit the great beluga sturgeon!

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