HOUSTON -HERE COMES CLASSIC KIPPERS!

Next month will mark the first anniversary of the launch of my CLASSIC KIPPERS COLLECTION of bow ties at JOHN PICKENS CLOTHIER. That will certainly be an exciting milestone, but CLASSIC KIPPERS and I have some awesome news to share with you -TONIGHT!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

My CLASSIC KIPPERS’ COLLECTION is getting ready to be unveiled at THE FABULOUS
OLVINE’S at 2405 Rice Blvd. in HOUSTON, TEXAS!
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Yes, it’s true! My friend Miss Izzie, a star in her own right and the most gorgeous Sheltie ever and her mom, are going to carry my collection of ties in their chic store in Rice Village!

Izzie has but to pick up the phone and her wish is my command. You see, when I was going through my two most serious surgeries, Izzie led the Prayer Warrior charge.  From her woof to God’s ear! I am eternally grateful to her, her mom, Sonja Fitzpatrick and all of her hundreds of followers!

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We are looking forward to doing business together. You see, the profits from my Classic Kippers’ ties, which are sold in Shreveport, stay in Shreveport to help other abused and abandoned animals like myself! Likewise, profits from ties which Miss Izzie will sell at OLVINE’S , will stay in Houston to help the myriad of poor and abandoned animals there. That’s my policy. I mean, those that do the work should reap the benefits! N’cest ce pas? It’s only the proper thing to do! My dream to pay forward my good fortune to help other rescues is expanding to the LONE STAR STATE!
Thank you Izzie!!!

I am so excited to be showing in such a chic venue. I checked out OLVINE’S this summer while vacationing at the Hotel ZaZa! They weren’t open at the time, but I got to peer in the windows. I certainly hope that my nose prints weren’t too noticeable!
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Today I was very busy AND nervous, as I packed up a lovely sampling of my ties, story cards, a display base and 20″x 30″ photo of moi! I even wrote out an inventory sheet and personal letter to them -ALL BY MYSELF!
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I thought that taking pen to paw lent that certain custom touch to the order. I know that they will appreciate my attentive service. Let’s face it, in this day and age of super technology, old school personal service, including a handwritten note, has just about gone the was of the mastodon!
Tomorrow morning Mom is driving me to the UPS store to ship my package and Miss Izzie will be on the other end to receive it. I just know that she will unpack them with great care and display them with her usual panache!
I doubt that I will be able to sleep tonight, Felix Peach promised to sing me a song to help me doze off, but I just know that I won’t be able to sleep….
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FOOTBALL SCORES

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This weekend I pulled for:

OLE MISS

GEORGIA

CLEMSON

LSU

and

ALABAMA

THEY ALL WON- enough said!

WICKED!

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It’s getting pretty scary at my house! The decorating has begun, but it’s NOT finish yet. Thought y’all would like a preview of Halloween. Of course, I am togged out in one of my fabulous Candy Corn Classic Kippers bow ties.

Très fantasmagorique!  N’est ce pas?

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STAY TUNED…..something wicked this way comes!

IDIOMS AND MAKING HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES!

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MAKE HAY WHILE THE SUN SHINES.

LET ME EXPLAIN
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Y’all know how I love learning and this week was no exception!
First I studied IDIOMS.
An idiom is a combination of words that has a figurative meaning, due to its common usage.

Some of my favorites are:

“A leopard cannot change its spots.
The notion that things cannot change their innate nature.
Hmmmm- something that should be considered especially in politics. Just saying…

“A piece of cake.”
It refers to something that is perceived to be very easy or simple, something that is as easy to do as eating a piece of cake.
Easy??? Excuse me please! I have seen many a cake on our kitchen counter and nary a morsel came my way! “Easy?” My left hind foot!

“A taste of your own medicine.”
You do something bad to someone that they have done to you to teach them a lesson.
Whoa Nellie! If that isn’t a 180 degrees from the Golden Rule I don’t know what is! And if I got caught NOT following the Golden Rule, well, here in the South they’d say that I’d get my “biscuits buttered”-ouch!

And finally,
“Make hay while the sun shines.”
Which brings me to the heart of this post.

It’s Fall, and time for the last cutting of hay for the year. To those not familiar with farming it sounds relatively simple-
1. Grass grows
2. Grass gets mowed
3. Hay gets put into round or square packages tied up with string. (We get the square kind)
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WRONG! Well, not entirely. Grass does grow and gets cut, then it gets fluffed into windrows, has to dry, gets put into squares -which are really rectangles -SHEESH- picked up out of the field and finally, stacked in the barn. WHEW! And, ALL of this depends on the weatherman and his forecast. If he’s wrong, and those bales get wet–POOF– ruined!
This past week was forecast to be sunny, so we had to literally make hay while the sun was shining! 

I positively love idioms!

Naturally, I had to do my fair share.

First and foremost I had to supervised the entire operation.

I drove the fields and checked on  moisture content*, bale quality etc.
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YEEEE HAW! There were bales as far as I could see and more bales than this farming bully could count! The guys were going to be very busy! I made a mental count.

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Despite the baling going on for three days, there were still stalls to muck. I decided to lend a paw to Miz T. Miz T manages the barn and the horses. Of course she really doesn’t need any help, she always keeps them spit spot, but she’s so nice AND pretty…

Let’s just weigh out the options.

1. Helping throw bales of hay with some sweaty, dirty guys, or

2. muck stalls with a really pretty cowgirl. EVEN A HUMAN COULD FIGURE THAT OUT!
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With that chore done, it was back to check on the guys in the field and the horses. Miz T didn’t want me to leave, but a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.
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The pasture was pristine and the hay was neatly stacked in the barn.
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I stopped to check on the horses and remembered an old John Wayne quote.

“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.”

Then I remembered one on which  I “sorta” collaborated with Kenny Rogers.

“Good sense is knowing when to back a way and know when to RUN!”
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Or was that, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em , know when to fold ‘em…” Poker anyone?
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There’s nothing like sitting on a fresh, fragrant bale of hay at the end of a long day. Cause, don’t cha know? 
Cowdogs WORK HARD, PLAY HARD and WIN BIG!
FOUR ACES
SWEET!

*MOISTURE CONTENT-if it has too much, the hay can mold in the barn and it’s bad for the horses and, even worse, it can cause spontaneous combustion and yep, BLOW UP YOUR BARN!
I kid you not, it happens!

JEEPING BULLY STYLE!

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The bite of Fall is in the air,
The answer to my fervent prayer!

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When Fall arrives the jeep comes out,
Wind in my face makes me shout!

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I’m cruisin’ the town like a pro,
Cause I’m a big bull terrier don’t cha know.

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After our outing I wanted more, so we stopped at our neighborhood yogurt store.
I lapped and licked ’twas shear delight,

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Then home we headed before the night!
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In poetry class I got a “C”,
But rhyming makes me bark with glee.

LET SLEEPING DOGS…SNORE!

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“Felix Peach, WHAT did you call me???”
“I called you ‘SNORE PUSS’ because you are and you do!”

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This was the brief conversation which my best friend and I shared a couple of weeks ago. He is perfectly mistaken in calling me a “snore puss”!  A “puss” is another name for a feline. I may act catty, I may be best friends with a feline and I might even be “the cat’s pajama’s”, but I am unequivocally NOT a “puss”. I might need to acquiesce in regard to the “snore” part.
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It has been rumored that I probably should have a sleep apnea test.

The most common type of sleep apnea is obstructive sleep apnea. In this condition, the airway collapses or becomes blocked during sleep. When you try to breathe, any air that squeezes past the blockage can cause loud snoring.

When I had my elongated palate surgery- that would be surgery #2- it was also discovered that I had enlarged adenoids. SHEESH! How does one expect moi to breathe with all of that going on in my throat!

Needless to say, I needed a sleep apnea test, but none of the facilities here would take me.

Enter “Doc Peach”:

Though he has taken a few medical assistant courses, in order to help care for me after my seven unfortunate surgeries, Felix Peach considers himself somewhat of a medical expert and has adopted the persona of “Doc Peach”. He specializes in Cat Scans and Sleep Apnea- HE says. I don’t know about the apnea, but he is an expert on sleep- that’s just about all he does. I stay up late into the night writing my blog, designing ties and working on my various public relation appearances and what does HE do? HE SLEEPS!

Not having an alternative, I was relegated into the paws of this “phyline physician”. I met with “Dr. Peach” and he told me the ins and out of the test. What the procedure would entail etc.
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On the appointed night of the test, I showed up 30 minutes prior, as requested, so that the necessary wires could be attached. Who knew that a bunch of electrodes would be necessary in order to ascertain if I was a candidate for a CPAP machine.
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The test, usually requiring 8 hours to properly evaluate the patient, only took 30 minutes in my case, before it was apparent that I needed a CPAP ASAP!

RESULTS:
Despite my prominent proboscis, I’m a mouth breather. I often sleep on my back.

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PROTOCOL:
Be fitted with CPAP mask with machine properly calibrated to doctors specifications.

PROPERLY FITTED???
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They’re going to need a
“CREATIVE INGENUITY ENGINEER ” because ONE SIZE
DOES NOT
FIT ALL!
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SHEESH!

PANAMA HAT, A CANAL and a FLY-OVER!

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This past February 5, 2014, my Classic Kippers Blog heralded the mini historical moment which I have reprinted below:

TEN FLAGS have flown over Louisiana since 1542.
SIX NATIONAL FLAGS have flown over Texas since 1519.
But the FLAGS of 32 COUNTRIES have flown over the Classic Kippers’ bully blog since 2013.

Just as the history books in schools are constantly being updated as statistics change, so must my blog information. Let me be perfectly clear.  <——(But don’t tell Mom that I used that phrase in my blog, it drives her berserk! I kid you not!)

Anyway, we need a DRUM ROLL here because there are now:

FLAGS FROM SIXTY FIVE COUNTRIES flying over my blog- so to speak. 

I am totally bowled over by these new stats!

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It was just last week that Macao became the 63rd country to read my blog! Is that awesome or what? I am positively positive that I need to take an accelerated geography course, before this list gets out of hand. It’s the polite thing to do. I certainly need to know more about those who know all about me. It’s just good manners and a Renaissance bully always has impeccable manners.
Macau, also spelled Macao, is one of the two Special Administrative Regions of the People’s Republic of China, the other being Hong Kong. Welcome!

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By the way, back in the late sixties the US Air Force sent my dad on an all expense paid trip to Southeast Asia for two years. Wasn’t that nice of them? He had so much “fun” that he signed up to go back for two more years. I think the draw to go back was the “Jolly Green” helicopter! On Tuesday night, Mom and I checked my stats and I have a new reader! The 64th country is VIETNAM!
You don’t suppose that someone recognized him from flying over the jungle all those years ago. It would be positively Kismet!
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As I look out through my window into the world, I am once again reminded of my good fortune after a lifetime of neglect and abuse.
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You see, yesterday Mom got a call from a young lady in Louisiana who was in need of urgent help. She had put a deposit on a bull terrier who is three years old and had taken him home to make certain that he and her other two pets were compatible. She also took the pitiful beast to the doctor because he was under weight and lethargic. The “breeder” said that the bully was not one to put on weight. PSHAW! I have never seen a skinny, healthy bully! Long story short, you know how I can go on, this sweet bully was diagnosed with heart worms and is malnourished. Big surprise there…NOT! But the young woman is not in a position to pay for the expensive treatment. The “breeder” will no longer take her calls. Mom called her “boss” at Bull Terrier Club of America Rescue and they decided that together BTCA and CLASSIC KIPPERS, would get this sweet boy the help he needs. If it weren’t for you, my patrons, I wouldn’t be able to contribute at all. So please, know I am grateful for each and every one of your tie and tee purchases and for spreading the word of Classic Kippers!

HOW MANY OF YOU REMEMBER THE SONG Pink Shoe Laces?

“He wears tan shoes with pink shoelaces
A polka dot vest and man, oh, man
Tan shoes with pink shoelaces
And a big Panama with a purple hat band”

Of course if I dressed like that, I’m not certain that I’d ever sell another Classic Kippers bow tie, but I do think that a Panama hat is a must and with a proper bow tie- Classic Kippers, of course!
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Did you know that Panama Hats got their name from the straw in  that country? Who knew? Probably lots of people, but it’s new to this bully! And that my friends brings me to the announcement of the 65th country who has a person reading my blog. Yes indeed, IT’S PANAMA!!!!
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I am elated, I am overwhelmed! I actually have people from the SIXTY FIVE countries reading my blog!

I’d raise my glass to all of you with my non alcoholic beverage, if I could figure out how to pick it up! SHEESH! I know it’s bad manners to drink out of a glass without picking it up, but do you think that since this is such a big deal that Emily Post might, just this once, look the other way if I commit a tiny faux pas?
I have made a decision. I have a quorum (me, myself and I) and we vote, YES!
And it’s LIP SMACKING GOOD! (Faux pas DEUX) Oops!

HIP, HIP, HOORAY TO ALL!
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UNIVERSITY VETERINARY HOSPITAL…The Rest Of The Story

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THE REST OF THE STORY-

I am afraid that I failed to post my experience at University Veterinary Hospital, this past August 11th.
It all began when Dr. Ratcliff, my GP veterinarian, checked my teeth when Mom suspected more dental issues.
He recommended that I go see Dr Catherine Foret, at University Veterinary Hospital, to have a full set of dental X-rays taken. Dr. Catherine has done advanced oral training and is able to offer advanced diagnostics, surgical techniques, and comprehensive oral wellness plans.
So, on the appointed day, Mom and Dad took me to UVH for X-rays and possible surgery- if warranted. Of course, I knew the minute we walked in the door that I had been duped again. Another veterinary clinic, different doctor, same smell.

Only animals know what that clinic smell means! Yep, it usually means indelicate probing, needle sticking and in my case, another surgery. I’m an authority on all three of those things!

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What I wasn’t prepared for was that Dr. Catherine is not only very pretty, but she has a bubbly personality too, which SOMEWHAT allayed my fears. Don’t get too carried away, I said somewhat. It was necessary however for me to be put under anesthesia, so that I would be perfectly still for my dental X-rays. Once that was done, Dr. Catherine said that she would come out of the operating room and discuss what she found with my parents.

I was whisked to the back by a very nice vet tech for my pre-op preparations, while Mom and Dad settled in the front office to await the results of my dental X-rays and examination.
Once that was complete, Dr. Catherine showed the X-rays to my parents while the surgery team kept an eye on me. Unfortunately, the digitals showed two tumors. One was in the roof of my mouth , an incisor palatal mass, and the second was on my gum, a mandibular lingual mass.

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I also had another tooth which needed to be removed-#208 on the diagram of my teeth. Just call me “Snaggle Puss”, thank you very much, as this makes the fourth diseased tooth removed. Dr. Ratcliff had already removed three very obvious problem teeth last fall. By the way, if you see the Tooth Fairy on Skid row (<——not the heavy metal band of the 80’s) please give her a tuppence or two because she’s a hard worker, a bit long in the tooth like me, and I just know that I’ve broken her piggy bank and feel perfectly awful, it being my fault and all.
Dr. Catherine returned to operate on me which took quite a bit of time, due to the location of one mass. However, Mom and Dad were put at ease because this nice man named Thomas, who was sort of an operating room liaison, would come out every 30 minutes or so to give them an update on my condition. Is that a great service or what? Reports were that my vitals stayed steady and perfect throughout the long procedure! This was my seventh surgery in 17 months and my sixth time to be put under anesthesia. (One procedure was done with a local anesthetic.)
Dr. Catherine joined my parents when it was over and said that she thought that the tumors were benign, but we’d know Friday when the pathology came back. Of course we now know that they were. HALLELUJAH and PRAISE BE!! She then asked Mom and Dad if they wanted to go back and be with me in recovery- SHEESH- I could have answered that question! The UVH staff had me set up on the floor with a comfy pad of towels and I was coming around rather well when Mom snapped this pic. Mom was so overjoyed that she had tears in her eyes. Yep, she’s an emotional one when it comes to me, but it’s been a ruffff year!

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Of course before I left, I just had to have a pic taken with Dr. Catherine and that sweet vet tech. Yep, they love me!

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Since then Dr. Catherine has checked on me herself several times. She calls me “Turtle Man”! I haven’t confimed it yet, but she may have a slight crush on me. Just wait until she sees my Halloween costume!

RATING: I give Dr. Catherine and the UVH STAFF FIVE TURTLES!   image

It doesn’t get any better than that!

CLEAN SHEET DAY!

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Today is Thursday, some people on Facebook call it “TBT” for Throw Back Thursday. I call it “CSD”- Clean Sheet Day! I mean who doesn’t like clean sheets?

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Actually, I’m a dual sheet bully! I love to roll in the dirty ones and adore sleeping on the clean ones, especially if I get to be the first one to “break the starch” -so to speak! It’s a ritual at my house. This morning I surrounded myself in the luxury of discarded sheets and this evening I beat Dad to the clean ones.
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BUSTED…BUT THEY THINK I’M PRECIOUS…I’M COMFORTABLE…

YEP, LIFE IS GOOD!

LONG BEFORE THE TARGET DOG or to bull or NOT to bull?

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And that’s NO BULL!image

It’s true, I am positively bullish on bull terriers.

 

In my studies of WWII, I read all about General George S. Patton during his command of the US Seventh Army and then the US Third Army. I came to realize that he was somewhat difficult and certainly audacious and profane, but he was a brilliant military strategist and he continually strove to train his troops to the highest standard of excellence.
Most think it was because of his West Point training and studies of military strategies, but I think much of his tactical success was due to his “second in command “, as Patton himself called his beloved (and last of a long line of many) English Bull Terrier, William the Conqueror AKA Willie. Need I say more?
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Then the 80’s rolled around and, since the world was somewhat at peace, it was time to party! Who would best represent the ultimate party animal? An English Bull Terrier of course!

 

 

Bud Light quickly got on board with “Spuds MacKenzie”, dubbed him “The original party Animal” and the rest is history!

And that brings me to the point of my blog post today. I had the most amazing, totally bullicious, field trip yesterday to the The Walker House Spuds Mackenzie Museum. I was in awe, I was humbled, I was in the presence of greatness. To a bully, having the opportunity to visit this private museum is like going to the epicenter of a bull terrier’s greatest dream! I will say that the three flights of stairs, to get up to the museum, were somewhat of a nightmare with these short legs and all, but once I walked into the shrine (museum) to see my hero, I was totally rejuvenated. Of course I took along one of my personal photographers to capture the moments of my visit for posterity.
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The docent told me that there were over two hundred fifty pieces in the museum’s collection! Certainly not the biggest Spuds collection in the world, but there are so many pieces that much of it is stored, rather like Shreveport’s R. W. Norton Art Gallery, though I have a sneaky feeling Norton’s changes out their pieces more frequently than does the Walker House Spud’s Museum. It really didn’t matter though, because I could barely take in all that was displayed. There are neon signs, steins, mugs, pilsners, pins, pitchers, posters, aprons, clocks, watches, clothing, belt buckles, shoes image

and THE SPUD’S HOT LINE! Yep, “back in the day” Spud’s had a direct line to Party Central! Is that the coolest or what?

There was even one HUGE four-foot, eighth of an inch thick, display of Spud’s himself, which hung on the wall!
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Check out the resemblance! Head and mouth shape, ear placement, etc. I guess you could say that I am the “heir” of the confidence Spuds exuded! Talk about strong genes! No doubt about it!
I was in my element!

I hope you will enjoy these pictures!

LOVE, LICKS AND WOOF, WOOF AROOOOS!  MK

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