HEFTY LAS VEGAS TURTLER #2 PICK

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

MR KIPPERS HERE:

image

It is my distinct privilege to announce the newest member of the Shell Shaker Team. Veteran turtle hunter, Riley Feeferlump Anderson, who will be assuming the position of turtle tackle. She’s a real “bully blocker” if you will.
Riley hails from Las Vegas-which is from where she gained her experience, as well as the moniker, “Desert Darling”. Don’t let that nickname fool you! This perfectly, packed, panoptic, power house of perfection has other accomplishments and nicknames.
If one has any doubt of her ability to move skillfully down the field with finesse, then one has only to know that she is an “agility bulldog” & no it’s NOT an oxymoron. With the nickname “Velco” it’s apparent that she’ll have great “sticking” power when it comes to turtles!
Now, without further ado, please join me in welcoming
The Shell Shakers new tackle –
Miss Riley Feeferlump Anderson!
image

TURTLING HAS BEEN SUSPENDED…woe is moi!


image
Mom has officially rained on the 2016 turtle season. It’s true and I am pleading with anyone who has any influence on her to please step up to the plate and plead my case.
Turtle season was off to a dynamic start when I caught number 47. My form and style were that of a dog half my age.
Dogs are NOT supposed to be able to smell cold-blooded animals and yet I am a pro. Mom says it is the rank stagnation on their skin and shells that I pick up.

imageimageimageimage

Today we started out and I immediately hit a line on the driveway. I kept my head down and followed the scent until I caught up with a Thamnophis elegans terrestris right there on the concrete about 40 feet from where I hit the scent line.
That word sounds better than “snake” don’t cha think?
I thought you’d agree.(snort, snort, chortle, chortle)
Now every one needs to chill because that’s the scientific word for GARTER snake.
NON poisonous.
I am absolutely indignant and frustrated because Dad removed said snake without allowing me Fifth Amendment rights!
For those of you who are not familiar with the Fifth Amendment it says… no one shall be “deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law.”
I was totally denied my property and due process!
In almost 2 decades, Mom and Dad have never found a poisonous snake in the yard at Walker House, but this year everyone in South Highlands is talking about finding copperheads. I think it’s a ploy to rain on my turtle hunting season, but nevertheless turtle season 2016 has been suspended until further notice.image

image

I am indignant!
That is NOT all!

HOLIDAY IN DIXIE PARADE ROLLS

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

 

image image

 

The vibrant pink, purple and white hues, of our azaleas, in all their glory, herald Spring in the South!
And, here in our town in Louisiana, we celebrate with a wonderful festival which we call Holiday in Dixie. In its 68th year, this multifaceted festival offers a Grand Ball with a King, Queen, Princess, Prince, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court and a Royal Order of Jesters who bring frivolity and merriment to the evening.

imageimage

An HID Treasure Hunt, A 5K Family Run, A Carnival, A Barbecue Cook Off where proceeds go to sponsor scholarships for local children, Barksdale Air Force Base hosts an Air Show and there’s continual nightly music on both weekends at Festival Plaza! And then there is the parade! It is masterfully orchestrated by my friend, Miss Madge.

image
There are bands, dancers, clowns, elaborate floats carrying royalty, representation by the Sheriff’s Dept, ( they were in an awesome armored vehicle) and a big ol’ fire truck! However, if one was looking for a particularly classy, creative float, then one had to look no further than my Classic Kippers’ Library float!

image

The most important feature is the sofa which I borrowed from the tack room at our farm. It’s comfy and particularly luxurious with my signature tartan blanket!

image

Dad pulled my float to the staging area at four pm because drivers had to check in for a breathalyzer test.

Of course he passed with flying colors because he would never drive “moi” and baby sister Miss Sophie Peach inebriated! That of would be a faux pas of the highest order!

As the parade rolled, Mom and Auntie Susan threw my signature beads and candy  to parade goers who lined the streets of downtown.

Let me mention here that I was not offered one single piece of candy, and when I did try to choke down some double bubble gum, which fell in front of my paws like manna from heaven, Mom actually pried my jaws open, in from of God and Country, and reached into my throat to get the piece of wrapped gum. It was seriously embarrassing! SHEESH!

image

People shouted out my name throughout the parade and it touched my piggy little heart deeply. You could tell that people , especially pretty ladies, were tickled pink to get my signature beads!

image
Miss Sophie Peach started out well, but there was a bit of a worry as to whether or not she would jump off the float after a throw, consequently she had to sit in the cab of the truck with Dad. The good news is that she behaved perfectly in the passenger seat.
It’s true, I’m proud of her!

image

As the parade came to an end, I leaned on the arm of the sofa and contemplated the day, as well as my next project. Yep, I have a  scathingly brilliant idea…

image

CALLING BULLY NATION

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

MR KIPPERS HERE…ATTENTION BULLY NATION!!!

Calling ALL bully lovers of ANY variety!

image
I’m doing a little PR work for my big (human) sister!
She’s a professor at UGA and the students need “likes” on their Georgia Day media ad campaign.
You DON’T have to be a Georgia fan, we’re doing this to help STUDENTS. Heaven only knows we need to support our youth. They ARE our FUTURE and besides this group LOVES bullies!!!

We ONLY have THIS week to “like” and then these  GDay links (below) will “Go Dark” so you won’t be bothered.

image

 

Right now our HUGE focus is on getting the “numbers” UP on their social media platforms, because they’re going to be judged on the success of the campaign-by the AMOUNT of “likes” & “follows”.
So, let’s let the “bully nation” show our support by TEMPORARILY liking and following any of these three media platforms.
(Remember at the end of the week they will go dark and you will not be bothered.)
I would be eternally grateful.
Of course, Miss Sophie Peach and I had to do a little ad campaign to show our solidarity!
Again, Please like/follow bellow.
Bully kisses and GRATEFUL THANKS!

THAT IS ALL!

Here are the social channels:

FACEBOOK:

/UGAUPCLOSE or https://www.facebook.com/ugaupclose/

TWITTER:
@UGAUPCLOSE or https://twitter.com/UGAupclose

INSTAGRAM: @UGAUPCLOSE or https://www.instagram.com/ugaupclose

VIMEO: https://vimeo.com/user50186729

DEEP IN THE HEART OF A TEXAS SPECIALTY!

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If you’re over fifty you might remember the TV series song that went something like:

HEAD ‘EM UP,
MOVE ‘EM OUT!
RAW HIDE!

Well all of that “raw hide” was really a bunch of cows being herded around in the dust. I’m not particularly an aficionado of cows unless they are grilled slightly on either side and cooked too a warm red in the middle. Dust- not so much. I am a a Renaissance Bully after all.

image
LOAD ‘EM UP,
MOVE ‘EM OUT!
BULLIES RIDE!

image image image
Now that’s more like it! It’s true, my mom is a packer extraordinaire and it’s a good thing, because we packed up and headed to Fort Worth last week for the Bullterrier Club of Dallas Specialty (there were bull terriers there from all over the coutry competing for ribbons and honors) and to pick up the last yards of silk fabric needed for my new bow tie collection!
Of course my book launch in Shreveport was incredibly fabulous, thanks to Lewis Gifts and so many people who are my followers, as well as friends of my mom and dad, but, at the bullterrier specialty, I was particularly honored to sell so many books to “my people”! We didn’t sell many the first night, when the judging began, but on day two they permitted my mom to get on the PA system and give a brief overview of my amazing journey. Well that did it! Books and ties started selling and then on the third day we had repeat customers. It was amazing and you know what? All net proceeds went to the RWTFBTCA!
That stands for Rescue Welfare Trust Fund of Bull Terrier Club of America!  English Bull Terriers are fabulously handsome beasts anyway, but once they pop on a Classic Kippers’ bow tie, they become, absolutely, unequivocally, incomparably the epitome of perfection!

Baby sister, Miss Sophie Peach and I manned the table and oversaw the sale of my books and ties and I, of course, shared my bow tie expertise with my fellow bullies, so that they might choose the proper pattern and color to best suit their individual personalities. It was rather exhausting after awhile!

This is our English Bull Terrier and Great Dane friend, Miss Melissa. She’d already bought my book, but came over to chat. She looked “Texas Elegant” at Saturday’s show!

image

Then there was this handsome red and white fellow- the Brad Pitt of the bully world, his name is El Chapo, but only because he’s short, he positivity has no cartel connections.

image

In between high-volume sales times I took a brief naps , but unfortunately Miss Sophie Peach turned out to be somewhat of a wagon hog.  She also showed a little  too much leg,  which I’m certain Emily Post would have considered a major faux pas.

imageimageimage
Two particularly dapper chaps are below modeling their Classic Kippers’ bow ties.  The lovable handsome hunk, Titus, (65 lbs) and the miniature ambassador of “good bully will”, HARRY (30 lbs) . I affectionately call them Mini and the Moose!

image image
Actually, HARRY and I got to be fast friends. He bought one of my books too  and now he’s spreading the word that all of the net profit of my ties, tees and books goes to animal rescue!
He is particularly enamored of my book because he loves late night reading and finds Rags to Renaissance, The Southern Education of an Abused English Bull Terrier, a scintillating read.

image image

And then there was Sledge! He is also an avid reader and I have in on good authority that Miss Sophie Peach has a crush on him.

image

I am very grateful to all who purchased Classic Kippers’ ties, tees and books. I have already posted a check to the Rescue Welfare Trust Fund of Bull Terrier Club of America and am hoping that you will all spread the word so that we can sell more to help the abused and abandoned.
A special thanks to HARRY, and his mom Lynn, for offering to jump on board to help.  He and I are a force with which to be reckoned- and so are our moms!!!

We are quite the perfect pairs!

image

WOOF, WOOF AROOO!
Stay tuned.

2016 TURTLE SEASON OFFICIALLY OPEN

Let it be known, in the annals of history, that on this day, April 5- the 2016 Turtle Hunting season, at Walker House, began. And yes, I, master of all turtling, the “Turtleman” himself, caught the first tortoise of the season, this very day at 12:14 PM.
Number 47 has been appropriately tagged and released.

image
And for all of you who wonder why I shall not
miss this formidable adversary, then you only have to look at what Big Brown delivered to my door from my patron, the incomparable and most generous, Miss Nancy!  Why should I worry about one prehistoric
Testudinidae, when I have these delightful “indoor” creatures with which to share my abode? And if that weren’t enough, Miss Nancy bestowed on me a lovely turtle encased appointment book, which I plan on using for not only my special appointments, but as a “turtling” diary as well. Thank you Miss Nancy!!!

image

Of course I shall continue to put on my camo tie and hunt these titans of my garden for the next six months with zeal and zest! It is, after all, THEIR destiny! Woof, woof arooooooo!

image

A ONE BULLY EASTER PARADE!

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In the pre dawn hours, this morning, while helping the Easter bunny deliver baskets,

image

it occurred to me that aside from the biblical aspect of Easter- which is MOST important- that it’s a shame many of our elderly no longer feel the joy of the soft bunny side of the Easter holiday. 

Yep, I had another scathingly brilliant idea!

A ONE BULLY EASTER PARADE!

 
Mom and Dad helped me to trick out my “Kipper Kart” in an Easter motif and then loaded it, and me, into the Kipper Mobile!

imageimage
If you want to get some great attention, serious belly rubs and lots of pats, just put on some bunny ears , get yourself all “doodied” up and sashay on over to visit the elderly. They have plenty of time on their hands, probably too much, and they will be ever so glad to see you.

EVEN if you have DOG BREATH!
Hope you had a Happy Easter!
That is all!

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

BUNNY EARS & CUPCAKES!!!

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My mom and dad have had a rough week. Mom had a trip to the ER and Dad had dental surgery. It was looking like it was also going to be a mighty sad Easter since granddaughter Alex wasn’t going to be here this year for the holiday. Then I got a scathingly brilliant idea. I couldn’t stand seeing them sad, so I decided to host a “Bunny Ears & Cupcakes” party. The magic of children works well every time!

image
I invited my two biggest fans, Miss Ella and Master Andrew, as well as my baby sister Sophie Peach and cousin Dudley. Both Ella and Andrew sit in chairs with lovely manners like “moi”–Sophie Peach and cousin Dudley –not so much.
Sophie Peach actually has the most regrettable manners while eating, but I’ll give her credit, she will stay in her chair. As one can tell from her countenance, she enjoys her treats.

imageimage
Naturally, I set a charming table and had “bunny ears” for my guests and particularly tasty cupcakes.

image

Ella had on an adorable Easter frock and that Andrew was sporting seersucker pants and white bucks! Those of you who know me, know that I am terribly partial to both human and canines turning out properly dressed for all occasions.
image

Miss Sophie Peach wore her pearls and I was “spit spot” in a Classic Kippers, perfectly pink, bow tie.

image
We sat down for cupcakes and lemonade and afterwards I gifted them both with little Easter baskets filled with a plethora of Easter goodies including some sumptuous chocolates. Sophie Peach, Cousin Dudley and I enjoyed fat free whipped cream atop homemade dog biscuits. Ella, Andrew and I were “Emily Post Perfect” as we enjoyed our delicious treats-one would expect nothing less from the three of us!

image
I imagine that you think the party ended when the treats were eaten, but you would be perfectly wrong.
I’m here to tell you that the fun had just begun!
When one combines cupcakes and chocolate candy, along with a few jelly beans for good measure, well, can one then say, “PARTY ON!” ????

imageimageimageimageimageimageimage
It took about fifteen minutes for what I call the “sugar fuel” to kick in. I, yours truly, was feeling my oats too, as were Sophie Peach and Cousin Dudley. While we reached speeds of Mach 5 around the dining room table,

imageimage

Miss Ella and Master Andrew roared with laughter.

imageimage
I may be partial to those two, but there is no sweeter sound (no matter how loud;) than the laughter of children playing with animals!
I doff my cap to the parents of these two children. Instead of being consumed by the constant accompaniment of technology, they are encouraged to delve into other creative avenues where they enjoy the blessings of this earth -including loving & caring for their pets and less fortunate animals.
Animals teach children kindness, respect, love and compassion.
We need more like Ella and Andrew!
I knew that having an Easter function, which involved children, would lift Mom and Dad’s spirits and it most certainly did! It was a rip roaring, egg-cellent afternoon and when it was over, it was definitely over!

image

May the Blessings of Easter be with you and yours!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

That is all!
Sent from my iPhone

TODAY I WANT TO BE A BUNNY OR A SEMBLANCE OF A BUNNY – NOT!

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Many of you have read my posts as well as my book, Rags to Renaissance, The Southern Education of an Abused English Bull Terrier and know that I have striven to educate myself in the ways of a Southern gentleman. At the moment I am at my wit’s end!
While I have read Faulkner, Steinbeck, Thoreau, Vonnegut, Emerson and Welty, Miss Sophie Peach reads nothing but fashion magazines!
How she ever expects to become a properly educated Southern bully is beyond me.
She actually had the audacity to tell me that there was no such word as “striven”. I told her to look it up and she put her paw on a copy of Vogue and said, “where”? SHEESH!
We talked about life, goals and why reading good books is so important!
As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.”
Sophie Peach told me that she lived by Coco Chanel’s quote: “I don’t do fashion. I am fashion.” And by Harry Winston’s,  “People will stare. Make it worth their while.”
Unfortunately today’s photo shoot she proved that those quotes were indeed her life’s mission. Double SHEESH!
I truly did try to have my usual impeccable manners, I really did, but after about the twentieth take on a photo shoot which could have been completed in four, I committed a huge faux pas.
Sophie Peach had me so frazzled (I rarely get frazzled) that I stuck out my tongue.
As you will see from these pics, Sophie Peach took Chanel and Winston at face value by expressing herself through dress. Finally, Mom got her attired properly. I’ll bet she gets a copy of Emily Post for Easter!! Just sayin’….image

YES, SHE WORE HER BUNNY EARS ON HER RUMP.

YES, I WAS EXASPERATED.

image

YES, I STUCK OUT MY TONGUE.

NO, I’M NOT SORRY.

image

SHE HAD A WARDROBE CHANGE FOR ALL THE GOOD IT DID. (EARS NOW AROUND HER NECK.)

image

FINALLY ON TAKE 24….

image

WE ALMOST MISSED A BUNNY LUNCH HOSTED BY  MISS ANNIE!

HAPPY EASTER, Y’ALL!

 

HOPPIN’ DOWN THE BUNNY TRAIL!

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

There are humans, though not many, who receive calls in their lifetime from important people. Sometimes to congratulate them on an accomplishment and other times to ask the person to step up to the plate and take on some sort of special assignment. This call might include The President of the United Stars, a state Governor perhaps, or a sport’s great. When that happens, the human becomes elated beyond measure and feels as if they have hit the “motherlode”. Bless their hearts. I guess if it trips their latches, then who am I to tell them that their “motherlode” pales in comparison to the phone call I received today. I am a bit taken aback myself, but terribly honored and I will certainly strive to live up to the responsibility to which I have been entrusted. One would probably think that Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy called, but one would be perfectly wrong. Good grief, who else would it possibly be BUT the Easter Bunny? SHEESH!
He is in dire need of help, due to the recent flooding in our area, and he’s most concerned that he cannot get his list of Easter deliveries made AND hidden in the allotted time. Therefore, he is reaching out to “moi”. He knows me to be dependable and very aware of what an awesome responsibility it is to make certain that his treasured eggs are carefully and properly delivered. At least we are having our annual Easter cold snap! Last week, record breaking 87 degree temperatures sent Mr. Bunny into a tizzy. One can only imagine the difficulty in keeping the cherished chocolate delights from melting!
So if on Easter, my paw prints are seen in the silt residue ( ie mud) left by receding waters or muddy prints on porches where water in yards is still standing, please know that it just “moi”- helping our most beloved Easter Bunny in his quest to bring the joy of Spring to area children.
The “Bully Bunny” has got it together,
He’ll get it done despite the weather!
Beautiful eggs and chocolate galore,
On Easter morning there’s sure to be more.
Mr Kippers will don his tie, a Classic Kippers, to catch one’s eye,
His eggs are loaded in a big ole basket,
He’s praying Sophie Peach won’t sing, “A Tisket A Tasket”!

Of course Mom felt like a photo shoot  to mark the occasion was in order. When has she ever missed an opportunity to take pictures???

image image image image image image image image image

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 161 other followers