TURTLE TARTARE? Non!

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“Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.”
Apologies to The Bard
And yes! There is method in my hunting and madness in my head when first I scent my turtle prey!
Although my parents have declared a moratorium on turtle hunting, for now, because they fear that we MIGHT have an influx of snakes due to flooding, I orchestrated a strike this afternoon which took my mother completely off guard and nearly off her feet, but in the end, I triumphed! Yesterday, was World Turtle Day (May 23) and it was kept a secret from moi. Seriously! And to add insult to injury one of my special followers, Miss Suzy, from Wisconsin, posted a Happy World Turtle Day message to me. Alas, she was the only one who remembered and this information was kept from me so that I would not feel cheated with there being a moratorium on turtle season.
But, since I prevailed today and captured, numbered and released TURTLE # 48, I shall dedicate it to Miss Suzy for remembering to wish me a happy World Turtle Day.

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When Mother finally regained her balance, she got out her cell phone and called Dad to please come out immediately to help. Fortunately, Dad brought out my baby sister, Miss Sophie Peach, so that she could share in my triumph. Yep, as you can see, we were licking our “chops”, but alas, it is uncouth to eat turtle tartare without the proper accoutrement!

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I am TURTLEMAN!
Hear me ROAR!!
That is all.

UPDATE- Austin to Boston- “Will & Purpose”!

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For those of us who rescue, knowing that the life of an innocent animal has been saved is thanks enough. It’s an incredibly exhilarating feeling. Each rescue is a small victory in the scheme of things, but to that one animal it’s the world-  often life!
Of course they are all special, but periodically, though not frequently, a very, VERY special dog comes along. I have been fortunate to have rescued two in the past four years. One I kept- my beloved Mr. Kippers whose “will and purpose” has raised thousands of dollars, as well as awareness, for other abused and abandoned animals. We’ve had five English Bull Terriers, in the last twenty two years, whom we have loved dearly, so believe me when I say – Mr. Kippers IS different.
The second English bull terrier was in a situation that would have also ended badly, had it not been for a wonderful woman who was in the right place at the right time and able to get him out. She then called me, but little did I know, as my friend and I headed to Houston to pick him up, that a truly unimaginable story had just begun.
Below is the link to the chapter in Mr. Kipper’s book, where the story of Bruno is told.
It was apparent, just from the short time Bruno was at our home, that he WAS one of those special dogs. The story itself received kudos from not only other rescuers, but from people who enjoy hearing a good story- a good, true animal story. It’s one of those wonderful “feel good” stories about how a group of like minded people can move mountains – and quickly – for the love of a dog.
It’s been a year since that remarkable rescue and just this past week, an update came my way. I’d like to share it.
If you know the story then you might want to skip the link below, but if you haven’t, please take the time to read it before reading the update.

https://classickippers.wordpress.com/2015/04/13/easter-miracle-in-dogdom-or-from-austin-to-boston/

FROM BRUNO’S NEW OWNER:
Just thought I’d let you know that the second best bull terrier of all time has totally proven the faith we placed in him. As you so well know-I retire early- and Saturday night, I slunk off to bed about eight. All was well: My husband was in the living room watching TV. I never felt Bruno leave the bed- but I sure felt him land back on me and commence to start digging me out! Leaping off and back on the bed til I awoke enough to realise that I needed to follow him…. To the living room- where my husband was in a heap on the floor! This is a VERY special dog. Thank you.
Her husband was fine, though he has Parkinson’s and had evidently lost his balance and fallen.

Since arriving in Boston, Bruno has trained to be a service dog for this man. He obviously takes his job seriously. This wonderful sweet boy, who came close to losing his life in Texas, has become a beloved and treasured part of a family in Boston. Rescue saved Bruno’s life and Bruno is saving the man’s by improving his quality of life. When they walk, Bruno is there for stability, when he relaxes Bruno is there to comfort. And now, Bruno has proven that if the man is in need- he will be there to get help. He, too, has “will and purpose”.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Special providence?
No doubt.

GIVE FOR GOOD and the SUPER HEROS

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GIVE FOR GOOD

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WHAT IS GIVE FOR GOOD?
Give for Good is a 24-hour online giving challenge led by The Community Foundation of North Louisiana to raise unrestricted dollars for the nonprofits in our community. It is a day of giving to celebrate the nonprofits in our community and a chance to raise thousands of dollars to make our community even better. Last year as a community we raised more than $1.2 million for the nonprofits in our community!

Miss Sophie Peach and I turned out for Robinson Rescue (low cost spay neuter clinic ) as “Captain Kippers” and “Pearl Girl” to join other canine Super Heros tonight to support one of our favorite NON PROFITS.
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And if that weren’t enough, my baby sister MISS SOPHIE PEACH tied “POODLE GIRL” for FIRST PLACE in the SUPER HERO costume contest.

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1.2 million was raised across the board last year at GIVE FOR GOOD and we’re hoping to top that this year!!!
WOOF, WOOF AROOOOOOOOOOO

HEFTY LAS VEGAS TURTLER #2 PICK

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MR KIPPERS HERE:

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It is my distinct privilege to announce the newest member of the Shell Shaker Team. Veteran turtle hunter, Riley Feeferlump Anderson, who will be assuming the position of turtle tackle. She’s a real “bully blocker” if you will.
Riley hails from Las Vegas-which is from where she gained her experience, as well as the moniker, “Desert Darling”. Don’t let that nickname fool you! This perfectly, packed, panoptic, power house of perfection has other accomplishments and nicknames.
If one has any doubt of her ability to move skillfully down the field with finesse, then one has only to know that she is an “agility bulldog” & no it’s NOT an oxymoron. With the nickname “Velco” it’s apparent that she’ll have great “sticking” power when it comes to turtles!
Now, without further ado, please join me in welcoming
The Shell Shakers new tackle –
Miss Riley Feeferlump Anderson!
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TURTLING HAS BEEN SUSPENDED…woe is moi!


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Mom has officially rained on the 2016 turtle season. It’s true and I am pleading with anyone who has any influence on her to please step up to the plate and plead my case.
Turtle season was off to a dynamic start when I caught number 47. My form and style were that of a dog half my age.
Dogs are NOT supposed to be able to smell cold-blooded animals and yet I am a pro. Mom says it is the rank stagnation on their skin and shells that I pick up.

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Today we started out and I immediately hit a line on the driveway. I kept my head down and followed the scent until I caught up with a Thamnophis elegans terrestris right there on the concrete about 40 feet from where I hit the scent line.
That word sounds better than “snake” don’t cha think?
I thought you’d agree.(snort, snort, chortle, chortle)
Now every one needs to chill because that’s the scientific word for GARTER snake.
NON poisonous.
I am absolutely indignant and frustrated because Dad removed said snake without allowing me Fifth Amendment rights!
For those of you who are not familiar with the Fifth Amendment it says… no one shall be “deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law.”
I was totally denied my property and due process!
In almost 2 decades, Mom and Dad have never found a poisonous snake in the yard at Walker House, but this year everyone in South Highlands is talking about finding copperheads. I think it’s a ploy to rain on my turtle hunting season, but nevertheless turtle season 2016 has been suspended until further notice.image

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I am indignant!
That is NOT all!

HOLIDAY IN DIXIE PARADE ROLLS

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The vibrant pink, purple and white hues, of our azaleas, in all their glory, herald Spring in the South!
And, here in our town in Louisiana, we celebrate with a wonderful festival which we call Holiday in Dixie. In its 68th year, this multifaceted festival offers a Grand Ball with a King, Queen, Princess, Prince, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court and a Royal Order of Jesters who bring frivolity and merriment to the evening.

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An HID Treasure Hunt, A 5K Family Run, A Carnival, A Barbecue Cook Off where proceeds go to sponsor scholarships for local children, Barksdale Air Force Base hosts an Air Show and there’s continual nightly music on both weekends at Festival Plaza! And then there is the parade! It is masterfully orchestrated by my friend, Miss Madge.

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There are bands, dancers, clowns, elaborate floats carrying royalty, representation by the Sheriff’s Dept, ( they were in an awesome armored vehicle) and a big ol’ fire truck! However, if one was looking for a particularly classy, creative float, then one had to look no further than my Classic Kippers’ Library float!

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The most important feature is the sofa which I borrowed from the tack room at our farm. It’s comfy and particularly luxurious with my signature tartan blanket!

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Dad pulled my float to the staging area at four pm because drivers had to check in for a breathalyzer test.

Of course he passed with flying colors because he would never drive “moi” and baby sister Miss Sophie Peach inebriated! That of would be a faux pas of the highest order!

As the parade rolled, Mom and Auntie Susan threw my signature beads and candy  to parade goers who lined the streets of downtown.

Let me mention here that I was not offered one single piece of candy, and when I did try to choke down some double bubble gum, which fell in front of my paws like manna from heaven, Mom actually pried my jaws open, in from of God and Country, and reached into my throat to get the piece of wrapped gum. It was seriously embarrassing! SHEESH!

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People shouted out my name throughout the parade and it touched my piggy little heart deeply. You could tell that people , especially pretty ladies, were tickled pink to get my signature beads!

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Miss Sophie Peach started out well, but there was a bit of a worry as to whether or not she would jump off the float after a throw, consequently she had to sit in the cab of the truck with Dad. The good news is that she behaved perfectly in the passenger seat.
It’s true, I’m proud of her!

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As the parade came to an end, I leaned on the arm of the sofa and contemplated the day, as well as my next project. Yep, I have a  scathingly brilliant idea…

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CALLING BULLY NATION

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MR KIPPERS HERE…ATTENTION BULLY NATION!!!

Calling ALL bully lovers of ANY variety!

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I’m doing a little PR work for my big (human) sister!
She’s a professor at UGA and the students need “likes” on their Georgia Day media ad campaign.
You DON’T have to be a Georgia fan, we’re doing this to help STUDENTS. Heaven only knows we need to support our youth. They ARE our FUTURE and besides this group LOVES bullies!!!

We ONLY have THIS week to “like” and then these  GDay links (below) will “Go Dark” so you won’t be bothered.

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Right now our HUGE focus is on getting the “numbers” UP on their social media platforms, because they’re going to be judged on the success of the campaign-by the AMOUNT of “likes” & “follows”.
So, let’s let the “bully nation” show our support by TEMPORARILY liking and following any of these three media platforms.
(Remember at the end of the week they will go dark and you will not be bothered.)
I would be eternally grateful.
Of course, Miss Sophie Peach and I had to do a little ad campaign to show our solidarity!
Again, Please like/follow bellow.
Bully kisses and GRATEFUL THANKS!

THAT IS ALL!

Here are the social channels:

FACEBOOK:

/UGAUPCLOSE or https://www.facebook.com/ugaupclose/

TWITTER:
@UGAUPCLOSE or https://twitter.com/UGAupclose

INSTAGRAM: @UGAUPCLOSE or https://www.instagram.com/ugaupclose

VIMEO: https://vimeo.com/user50186729

DEEP IN THE HEART OF A TEXAS SPECIALTY!

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If you’re over fifty you might remember the TV series song that went something like:

HEAD ‘EM UP,
MOVE ‘EM OUT!
RAW HIDE!

Well all of that “raw hide” was really a bunch of cows being herded around in the dust. I’m not particularly an aficionado of cows unless they are grilled slightly on either side and cooked too a warm red in the middle. Dust- not so much. I am a a Renaissance Bully after all.

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LOAD ‘EM UP,
MOVE ‘EM OUT!
BULLIES RIDE!

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Now that’s more like it! It’s true, my mom is a packer extraordinaire and it’s a good thing, because we packed up and headed to Fort Worth last week for the Bullterrier Club of Dallas Specialty (there were bull terriers there from all over the coutry competing for ribbons and honors) and to pick up the last yards of silk fabric needed for my new bow tie collection!
Of course my book launch in Shreveport was incredibly fabulous, thanks to Lewis Gifts and so many people who are my followers, as well as friends of my mom and dad, but, at the bullterrier specialty, I was particularly honored to sell so many books to “my people”! We didn’t sell many the first night, when the judging began, but on day two they permitted my mom to get on the PA system and give a brief overview of my amazing journey. Well that did it! Books and ties started selling and then on the third day we had repeat customers. It was amazing and you know what? All net proceeds went to the RWTFBTCA!
That stands for Rescue Welfare Trust Fund of Bull Terrier Club of America!  English Bull Terriers are fabulously handsome beasts anyway, but once they pop on a Classic Kippers’ bow tie, they become, absolutely, unequivocally, incomparably the epitome of perfection!

Baby sister, Miss Sophie Peach and I manned the table and oversaw the sale of my books and ties and I, of course, shared my bow tie expertise with my fellow bullies, so that they might choose the proper pattern and color to best suit their individual personalities. It was rather exhausting after awhile!

This is our English Bull Terrier and Great Dane friend, Miss Melissa. She’d already bought my book, but came over to chat. She looked “Texas Elegant” at Saturday’s show!

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Then there was this handsome red and white fellow- the Brad Pitt of the bully world, his name is El Chapo, but only because he’s short, he positivity has no cartel connections.

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In between high-volume sales times I took a brief naps , but unfortunately Miss Sophie Peach turned out to be somewhat of a wagon hog.  She also showed a little  too much leg,  which I’m certain Emily Post would have considered a major faux pas.

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Two particularly dapper chaps are below modeling their Classic Kippers’ bow ties.  The lovable handsome hunk, Titus, (65 lbs) and the miniature ambassador of “good bully will”, HARRY (30 lbs) . I affectionately call them Mini and the Moose!

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Actually, HARRY and I got to be fast friends. He bought one of my books too  and now he’s spreading the word that all of the net profit of my ties, tees and books goes to animal rescue!
He is particularly enamored of my book because he loves late night reading and finds Rags to Renaissance, The Southern Education of an Abused English Bull Terrier, a scintillating read.

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And then there was Sledge! He is also an avid reader and I have in on good authority that Miss Sophie Peach has a crush on him.

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I am very grateful to all who purchased Classic Kippers’ ties, tees and books. I have already posted a check to the Rescue Welfare Trust Fund of Bull Terrier Club of America and am hoping that you will all spread the word so that we can sell more to help the abused and abandoned.
A special thanks to HARRY, and his mom Lynn, for offering to jump on board to help.  He and I are a force with which to be reckoned- and so are our moms!!!

We are quite the perfect pairs!

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WOOF, WOOF AROOO!
Stay tuned.

2016 TURTLE SEASON OFFICIALLY OPEN

Let it be known, in the annals of history, that on this day, April 5- the 2016 Turtle Hunting season, at Walker House, began. And yes, I, master of all turtling, the “Turtleman” himself, caught the first tortoise of the season, this very day at 12:14 PM.
Number 47 has been appropriately tagged and released.

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And for all of you who wonder why I shall not
miss this formidable adversary, then you only have to look at what Big Brown delivered to my door from my patron, the incomparable and most generous, Miss Nancy!  Why should I worry about one prehistoric
Testudinidae, when I have these delightful “indoor” creatures with which to share my abode? And if that weren’t enough, Miss Nancy bestowed on me a lovely turtle encased appointment book, which I plan on using for not only my special appointments, but as a “turtling” diary as well. Thank you Miss Nancy!!!

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Of course I shall continue to put on my camo tie and hunt these titans of my garden for the next six months with zeal and zest! It is, after all, THEIR destiny! Woof, woof arooooooo!

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A ONE BULLY EASTER PARADE!

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In the pre dawn hours, this morning, while helping the Easter bunny deliver baskets,

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it occurred to me that aside from the biblical aspect of Easter- which is MOST important- that it’s a shame many of our elderly no longer feel the joy of the soft bunny side of the Easter holiday. 

Yep, I had another scathingly brilliant idea!

A ONE BULLY EASTER PARADE!

 
Mom and Dad helped me to trick out my “Kipper Kart” in an Easter motif and then loaded it, and me, into the Kipper Mobile!

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If you want to get some great attention, serious belly rubs and lots of pats, just put on some bunny ears , get yourself all “doodied” up and sashay on over to visit the elderly. They have plenty of time on their hands, probably too much, and they will be ever so glad to see you.

EVEN if you have DOG BREATH!
Hope you had a Happy Easter!
That is all!

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