Most of you know that my mom and dad are selling our home. Can you believe it? I could end up homeless again. Mom keeps reassuring me, that I am NOW and will ALWAYS be, her number one bully! And that when this house sells, we will be getting another- just a smaller one. I can’t help but be nervous. After all, I have lived on the street and the thought of being homeless again scares me. That being said, I wanted to tell you a little bit about what it takes around here to show our house.
Naturally, we have a great real estate agent, but I don’t really think that she knows what it takes for us to get the house ready for a showing or how we suffer while she’s showing it. (Did I mention she’s very pretty? She thinks I’m cute too.) Of course the house has to be clean- a given. And it’s a big house so we all pulled together to make sure that we don’t have “dust bunnies”, excessive pet hair or nose prints on the windows or French doors of which there are a plethora! There are four of us contributing to what Mom calls “nose art”. It’s sort of like the Acadėmie des Beaux-Arts in Paris, but we prefer to call it “Maison Walker des Nose Arts”! Biscuit, Felix, “Sophie the brat” and I are the resident artists! Boy can we can cover some territory! Felix and Biscuit cover the high glass panes, I get the mid level and “Sophie the brat” gets the low ones.
Each time the house has been scheduled to be shown everyone gets in high gear.
Let’s face it, there is a lot of square footage to vacuum, dust, mop and then there is that “nose art”. Everyone, gets into a frenzy and that’s where some of the trouble begins.
Today the whirlwind began early. People were moving at Mach speeds that had me very upset. I just knew I was going to be abandoned. I stayed right with my mom and in fact almost tripped her a half-dozen times. She’s not all that stable anyway, so I was put in the bedroom. She did give me a treat, but then the door closed and I was alone. Abject fear gripped my bully little heart! I knew in my heart they were preparing for the showing, but my mind said I was being left. How would I reach the cookies in the kitchen window, how would I get on the sofa without a “bum boost”, who would give me belly rubs and for that matter who would give me the eight medications I take each day to survive? Panic reached its zenith and then it happened…I threw up…just water…on the carpet…twice.
Fast forward–about two hours later –Mom came and got me, Dad put Felix in a cat carrier and we picked up “Sophie the brat” on the way out the door. You see, Biscuit stays in our dog park during showings because she likes it. The problem with the rest of us is that Mom is afraid we will get out while the house is being toured. Felix cannot be left in his carrier at the house because he does nothing but caterwaul, which ruins the beautiful ambience of our home. “Sophie the brat” has not yet earned the right to be trusted and I, well you know, my Mom doesn’t leave me in ANYONE’S care but Dad’s and he was leaving too!
Dad pulled his truck around and we loaded up!
He had put lots of blankies in the back seat . I took the port side, “Sophie the brat” the starboard and Felix was in his carrier between us.
BIG MISTAKE, BIG, BIG, BIG MISTAKE, B.I.G. M.I.S.T.A.K.E!
Sophie and I had a few moments of fresh air, peace and tranquility in the back seat. With the exception of Biscuit we were all together-it was just delightful.
It was as if my fears over the last five hours had dissipated into thin air. A Camelot moment. Seriously…”For one brief shining moment…”
And then it began- caterwauling of a cataclysmic nature. The caterwauling was followed by a noise which made me peer into the cat carrier. My stars! It was Friday Night Late Night Terror! A foaming furball! I alerted Mom and Dad that it was apparent that Felix was surely hydrophobic! I mean, look at the pic if you don’t believe me!
Mom assured me that cats who do not travel well often get “frothy”. SHEESH! I personally prefer my froth on a good Cappuccino. And if that weren’t enough, the caterwauling started again followed by the cat carrier shaking violently-it was an EARTHQUAKE!!!!’ I’m certain on the Richter scale it was at least a 9.0 but I was wrong, it wasn’t an earthquake it was more like Mount Vesuvius! I kid you not, the cat erupted. The aftershocks in the form of feline tremors continued. It must have destroyed the feline’s septic system because the next thing we knew there was an eruption from the other end! There we were, sitting for an hour on a side street near our home waiting for the people to finish looking at our house. We were trapped. No where to go, windows down, A/C on high, eyes watering.
Please, if you know anyone who wants to buy a big, beautiful historic home, please have them call. Not only will you get to own a historical piece of Shreveport, but you’ll get a FREE cat!
PS Mom said that she’d take us turtle hunting when we got home. Sophie is a little confused by them, but I showed her my prowess! I hit a line within moments of diving under the Jasmine and within about a minute I nailed one! Mom put it in the grass for a photo shoot. Dad’s job was to “HOLD HARD”!
Truthfully, I was afraid that what happened in the car might have damaged my acute sense of smell, but alas, there is no doubt….I am, and will always be …