I know that I have been dragging my paws getting back into the lab, but this hundred degree heat is sweltering! Of course, having humidity that topped 96% last night was, well, simply unacceptable to my delicate sensitivities.
However, Mom had a little chat with me over the weekend. She told me that my procrastinating was going to get me into trouble, as I only have two weeks left before Loyola will need their lab back for the beginning of the next school year. She also said that the best way to get something done is to begin. So I did. Monday morning found me in the lab where Phase One is now underway.
First I put on my lab coat & eye protection. Everyone knows that I am a stickler for safety equipment! One never knows when a mishap might happen!
I also wore a snappy little Classic Kippers’ bowtie. After all, it’s been proven that dressing for success leads to success and it’s imperative that I am successful with my cloning.
My mother has been asked, by more than four people, why she would spend $180,000 to have me cloned. Let me assure each and everyone of you that my mother is NOT paying to have me cloned. She told me early on that it was my baby- figuratively end otherwise. Of course being good parents, they are cheering on my project and me.
At that point I was ready to begin. It was necessary that I began with coat color. First I mixed large portions of English Bull Terrier Red with lesser amounts of English Bull Terrier White which would add the “chrome to my clone”. “Chrome” being the white blaze, white collar, as well as white paws/legs. It was imperative that those proportions were precise! Next I added a healthy portion of the “Fox-Fox” gene. As one would be aware from having read my previous post, the “Fox-Fox” gene is what makes me ALWAYS camera perfect for my photo shoots.
I added a healthy measure of that to my cloning process. Attributes of gentleness, heart and philanthropy were added too, plus the usual quirky bully genes. I mean after all, without all of those genes a bully would just be, well, and ordinary dog.
And what would I be like without my incredible sense of style?
I’ve had THAT working on the Bunsen burner!
Dad has emphatically stated that my clone must be very small so that mom can handle him.
Although I am small for a standard English bullterrier, I need to make sure that genetically there is some “Lilliputian” DNA included. I pondered this point for quite some time as I had absolutely no idea what to do and then I remembered about my awesome friend HARRY! Yes, everyone’s wild about HARRY! In the bullterrier world he is somewhat of a small fry, but inside that diminutive statue resides one who, like “moi”, is an ambassador of goodwill for the breed! I immediately contacted HARRY who graciously overnighted his mitochondrial DNA. It has been added.
Because this is a new beginning, I added the beauty of the Sunrise.
Then things got tough.
The difficult part was deciding how much turtle olfaction should be added.
One should be aware that a dog’s sense of smell is about 1,000 to 10,000,000 times more sensitive than a human’s (depending on the breed). A human has about 5 million scent glands, compared to a dog, who has anywhere from 125 million to 300 million! No wonder my parents had no idea that they had so many turtles living in their yard- they are olfactory challenged!
Uh Oh, I must have added an incompatible material. Why else would I be sitting here in green slime? Yep, it’s turtle olfactory and it’s – as we say in the South – A MESS!
I will endeavor to find out what I did wrong while my invaluable lab assistant, Miss Sophie Peach, washes the test tubes etc.